Should know better than to mess with me!

My 4 year old daughter informed me yesterday that there was an alligator on our roof. After I confirmed that it was outside on the patio ceiling, I grinned at her cuteness and hoped that the lizard would just scuttle away. Two hours later it was still in the same spot so I thought I’d encourage it to move along asking my son to get his water squirter and give it some incentive to leave. He tried, and then my little girl who has to do everything her big brother does, had to have a turn too but the jet was not getting high enough. Mom suggested the water hose with the jet setting – duh! Of course, my mom is so smart!! My son tried, and tried and the thing would not move… it was like it was fused to the wall. My husband told us to stop, informing us that we were probably terrifying the poor creature (like I cared) and then he reminded us of the water shortage in SD and I agreed to stop. I told the kids to come inside and to leave it alone, hoping that it would go away once it felt safe enough to stop playing dead. I saw its tail move so I knew it was indeed alive and I made a mental note not to exit out of that door without checking that it was gone.

Evening check – yes still there… use garage door.

Nighttime check – yes still there … make sure doors and windows secured so that it does not get any ideas and moves inside.

First thing in the morning check – are you kidding me? … it’s still there and in the same exact spot.

So, I get concerned… yes, me. Lizards give me the heebie-jeebies. Okay, I’m terrified of them, yes I know they are good for the environment, eat small bugs; will not harm me etc., etc. I think it’s been there around 24 hours, what if it is stuck. It’s going to starve to death. How can I let it happen on my watch? So I try again. Wave my arms, jump up and down and go shoo. No luck. I pull out the garden hose and send a jet stream of water its way. It won’t budge and at one time, I actually see it pick its body away from the wall but its suction pads are hanging on for dear life. Do we have a lizard that is scared of heights? Climbed up there and is too scared to come back down (Lady will you stop that! You’re going to make me fall) I’ll pause and let you get a mental picture.

Mom has an idea. She gets the pool skimmer and I run indoors, just in case the beast decides to get me back for all the torture. She reaches up and slowly nudges it. It jumps onto the skimmer and she lowers it down to the ground and it jumps off and stays there. Mom is convinced it’s paralyzed, but I just saw, through my glass front door, that it can move. So I bring back my friend the garden hose, and spray it off the patio. It promptly settles on a rock, refusing to leave and after a whole lot of blasts from my water gun I get it far enough away from the house for my comfort.

So now, every time I go in and out, I’ve got to do a perimeter check to make sure it’s not back. If it does, you just might find us on the next Judge Judy, don’t worry, I’ll give you a heads up so you can Tivo the eviction!!

About Andrea Yerramilli


  1. Avoid yourself all this trauma and call me next time. I’d love to help.

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