This has been a very long winter and the grey barren landscape outside got to me this year. Could it be because the kids have had more than their usual share of colds and I’ve been tired? Could it be that my fourteen year old dog Skipper has been feeling poorly and I feel her slipping away and am helpless to do anything about it? Or is it just that I’m getting older and my patience is getting thin? It could be all of these … but what’s been bugging me is that this winter seems to have been paralleling my life.
You’d probably say that I have a wonderful life. And I know that I do. I have an amazing husband who is supportive, loving, and who treats me really well. I have two gorgeous kids, and those of you who know them know that I am blessed beyond my wildest dreams. And I have two awesome dogs, who love and trust me unconditionally. A wonderful family, great friends, beautiful home… etc, etc… How then could I explain this ennui?
Here I am, past a certain age and feeling like I contributed hardly anything to the grand scheme of things. Oh, yes, I’ve organized picnics, barbeques, birthday parties, dinners, and helped with various projects, but all of these things, I was happy to do – for someone else. But lately I’ve been thinking that i missed out on some experiences in my life and have been regretting it. I have to make a change. I have one life, and it’s high time I started living it before it’s too late …
So I want to shake the sluggishness that comes with being static for so long and try to find the person I always wanted to be. To try and figure out the footprint I want to leave behind when I’m gone. To try and release the talents I have and let them flow through and out of me. And like the landscape outside, where little daffodil and tulip plants are poking their heads up from under the cold hard ground getting ready to share their warmth and color, little sparks of imagination and creativity are making me come alive too.
I can’t wait to say hello to spring – a hopeful time of year… full of rebirth and new beginnings! I can’t wait for the winter to be finally over, both outside and inside of me. I can’t wait to celebrate the new buds on the trees and the beautiful flowers, and the way I feel when I’m putting words on paper. I am beginning to feel vibrant, and awake, and alive. And it’s wonderful!
Goodbye winter … hello spring!!